Empty
My strength is poured out
like water on wasteland;
evaporating in the searing
heat of hopelessness.
Only a few droplets remain
around the rim of my sanity.
My spirit is deflated;
a pathetic, week-old balloon
barely bobbing in the breeze.
Discouraged, defeated,
clinging to the scarlet ribbon
clutched firmly in the hands of Christ.
_____________________________________________________________
Not all of life is positive. And so, neither can my writing always be. Right now, I am empty, drained of all emotion and energy. I am worn out from being sick, for going on three weeks now, as well as worn out due to a few other pressures in my life that I will only share with God. At this time, I am just too tired to paint on the "smiley face" that tells world the white lie of, "I'm fine today!"
And you know what? That's okay.
Christians have a lot to be optimistic about but no matter how positive a person, no matter how upbeat and outgoing you may be, life can wear you down. We cannot always be Pollyanna's with never negative outlooks. Drama, demands on the job, financial binds, at home headaches, sickness, self-inflicted stress, simply the unbelievable craziness in our world today. . . it all comes into play. One thing by itself you may be able to handle; maybe even two or possibly three things. But, the burden of everything added together can weigh you down to the dusty levels of discouragement. Down, maybe even defeated in a particular battle, but not lost to the dark side forever.
The good news is that God understands our weariness. He does not condemn us for it. He knows life is sometimes just too much for us to bear. He sends out an invitation to everyone that is the same today as it has always been, "Come unto me . . ." Those who answer His invitation find He is there to provide rest, healing, strength, love, acceptance and amazing peace.
Twila Paris has a song that I love called, The Warrior is a Child. I think the lyrics of that song describe the way I feel today perfectly:
"They don't know that I go running home when I fall down.
They don't know who picks me up when no one is around.
I drop my sword and cry for just awhile,
Cause deep inside this armor, the warrior is a child."
_____________________________________________________
Father, I would gladly run to accept your invitation, but I am weak emotionally and physically. As a weary child throws up their hands and wails, "Carry me!" so I cry out to You, my heavenly Father. I am sick. I am discouraged. I am broken, but not beyond repair. My outstretched arms reach up to You. Carry me, Lord, until Your strength fills me once again. Then and only then, can I can put back on Your armor and return to the battles of life. In Jesus name I pray. ~ Amen
