One Orange Ember

One Orange Ember

Blue is not the mood.
Gray is much closer;
yet, even more subdued
and vastly colder.

Once. . . 

I dreamed in vivid color.

I hoped in pastel hues.
I drank in the world with wonder
as a butterfly drinks the dew

...and loved like I had nothing to lose.

It didn’t happen overnight.

It didn’t happen in a day.
Brilliant colors of life so bright,
slowly began to drain away.

Now. . .

My life plays out before me like

a movie filmed in black and white
during the depths of coldest winter.
Shivering and shaking, alone in my plight

…hoping with a hesitant hope.

I stretch out icy hands to stoke

the fire of my feeble faith;
where smoldering cinders smoke,
yet all heat of heart has escaped.

Yearning. . .

Trembling prayers are the kindling
for the fire that has no flame.
They feed the faith that is dwindling;
the warmth of color to reclaim

. . . one orange ember in the ash.
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At the time I started this poem, I was very sad. I began it when my friend, Faith, was ending her journey her on earth and my cousin, Sharon, got the news that they chemo was no longer working and they were sending her home. Their fights with cancer and a and few other difficult areas that are still being battled in my world were weighing me down. Bad news, is a part of life - as is grief.

I am better now; but still sad and struggling with some issues. Even though this poem is glum, I still wanted it on the blog because everyone goes through the whole range of emotions in life and someone out there might be able to relate to what I am feeling. It ends with hope though! The one orange ember in a black & white world, the return to better days!! J

With God, there is always hope!
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Thank you, Father, for holding us close during the cold, dark days of grief. ~ Amen

Enjoying the Morning

Enjoying the Morning

The sun is rising in the east.
The sky is bathed in shades of blue.
Another day the Lord's bequeathed
as a gift to both me and you.

Yellow rays, through the clouds stream
fingers of light, reaching low
to wake the world, from last night's dream
with a gentle caress, "Hello."

Whipping wind, whirls around me
not in haste, but in glee.
Praise he sings, if you listen,
to the Lord of both you and me.
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There are two times of day that I love to be out walking. One is as the sun in sinking below the horizon and the other is when the world is waking up. Since I am a sleepy head, I see more sunsets than sunrises. Both of these times of day, I feel closer to God and often spend time talking with Him as I walk. Today, I was lucky enough to greet the new day's dawning and praise the Creator for it.

I know today's post is a little shorter than most of my poems, but I think it will become one of my favorites. You see, it is more of a song than most of my poems. Why? Well, because I am a John Wayne fan and this weekend one of my favorite of his movies was on, "Rio Bravo." Now, if you have ever seen this movie you are probably very familiar with the song Dean Martin and Ricky Nelson sing, "My Rifle, My Pony and Me." That tune was playing in my head as I walked the track today. The first verse came with ease, the other took more work. Maybe I will add more and change some of it later, but for now I'm happy with it. If you remember the tune, read the poem again and see if I succeeded.
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Painter of Dawn and Dusk, Wonderful are Your works in heaven and in earth! Thank You for our quiet moments together. During these times, I draw comfort, strength and hope from You and can face the world again.  ~ Amen

Father, May I

Birds of the sky

don’t weep or sigh
or worry about tomorrow.
To worry brings only sorrow.

May the faith of a bird, have I.

The wind will blow,

either fade or grow,
in accord with the Lord’s commands;
following the flow of His hands.

May the will of the wind, have I.  

Throughout the night

the stars gleam bright;
heaven’s diamonds in the darkness;
their sheen made brighter by blackness.

May the radiance of the stars, have I,

to those surrounded by shadows.
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I don't know about you, but I truly believe that every thing created by God knows who He is and that all of nature worships Him. I believe that when Jesus returns, that even the leaves in the trees will applaud His coming!  Now, maybe you think that makes me crazy. Maybe, but let's look at a few Bible verses that I believe support my theory.

Psalms 147:4-5 says, "He counts the number of the stars. He calls them all by their names." Have you ever tried to count the stars? I know I did as a child. I bet that like me you didn't get very far before you lost count. Not God. He not only created them, He knows the exact number in the sky. He is the one who put each one in their place AND He has a name for each and every one of them! Now, that excites me! To me, that means that God has an intimate relationship with every, single star. He calls them by their name; just like He knows each of our names!

In Mark 4:39, Jesus rebukes the wind and says to the wind, "Peace, be still" and, unlike our children when we tell them to settle down, the wind ceased and the waves calmed. NATURE LISTENED to the Lord and obeyed His commands! This is not the only time nature responded to Jesus. Read Matthew 14:24-33 to see how Jesus walked on the water and once again calmed the wind and sea.

During his triumphal entry into Jerusalem, Christ's disciples were calling out, "Blessed is the King who comes in the name of the Lord," and the Pharisees were outrageous enough to tell Jesus that He should rebuke his disciples.  Jesus informed them that even if they were silent, the stones would cry out (Luke 19:39-40). What does that tell you? I know what it tells me, that even simple stones know that Jesus is Lord of all and rejoice in His coming.

I will wrap up my point with Psalm 96:11-14 (even though I could list others), "Let the heavens rejoice, and let the earth be glad; Let the sea roar and all its fullness; Let the field be joyful, and all that is in it. Then all the trees of the woods will rejoice before the Lord. FOR HE IS COMING . . ." (my emphasis).

Take a walk somewhere today and take in the beauty of nature. As you do, praise the Lord together with the trees, the birds, the wind and heavens and even the simple stones beneath your feet!
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Gardener of Eden and of all the Earth: I pray often for You to give me the eyes of love to see others as You do. Today, I pray that You open my eyes to see nature as You do as well. My Creator and my King, I know that man was given dominion over the earth. Unlike some cultures, I am not saying that man is equal with nature. But, I do believe that You intended us to not only care for the earth, and the creatures in it, but that we were meant to learn from nature as well. Teach me to hear the psalms nature sings and the praises that they raise to You - their Creator as well as mine. Oh! And when I am by Your side someday, will you teach me the names of the stars? You have my love forever, Lord. ~ Amen

Seek God

Seek God

If you seek Him

He will find you;

no matter how dark

the world that blinds you.

Through temptations

He will guide you.

Yet, know past phantoms

will try to bind you.

Clawing. Crawling.

Still –

      You seek Him!

Cling tight to courage.

Your hope will free you.

Lost you might be

but not misplaced.

No one is hidden

from the Savior’s face.

When you cry out

He will rush to

embrace you in grace

and never leave you.

Dark becomes light.

Loss becomes life.

If you seek Him

He will find you.

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Did you happen to catch the wording of the first and last two lines? " If you seek Him, HE will find YOU!" Now I know that Jeremiah 29:13 says, "And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart." But I prefer to think that when we start seeking the Lord, that He is already on His way to meet us.

What makes me think that? Well, imagine this:

It is the middle of the night & an unexpected storm arrives. The wind moans and rattles the glass in the window panes. Thunder’s shockwaves make your home tremble. Then the rain begins pounding the rooftop like an angry person demanding to be let in. With the first lightning bolt, the power crashes. There is not a sliver of light shining in the inky blackness. You rise from your bed and start down the hall, listening. Then from the obscure darkness, your child wails in fear from the other room – the cry you knew was coming before it was heard.

Notice that the parent (you) in the story above was up and headed to the child before they even cried out? How many of us as parents have done that exact thing? Whether our children are infants, toddlers, elementary, high school or grown; if we know they need us; we are on our way to meet that need. THAT is how I know that if we are searching for God, HE WILL COME FIND US.  Why? Because just as a good earthly parent knows the needs of his child, God already knows our needs before we voice them. Matthew 7:11 plainly says, "If ye then . . . know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?" The same applies to coming to their rescue.

No matter how dark our storm, our Heavenly Father is already headed toward  us, reaching out for us, before we cry out His name.  Isn’t it wonderful???

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Thank you, Heavenly Father, that before I even call out You have heard my cries. Before the echo ends, You are already by my side. I am comforted to know that no matter how dark the storm in my life might be, change will come and with it, the blackness will flee from Your Light. You are my Rescuer and my Salvation! ~ Amen

My Prayer for Faith...

Wrap Your arms around her and hold her, Lord – tightly. With a fierce love embrace her. Let her body’s weakness be forgotten in Your strength. As Your love enfolds her, let the warmth of Your light permeate every cell of her being and all disease be erased.  As You Spirit surrounds her, let all fear fade away and may Peace's essence flood Faith’s soul.  I know, now and forever, You will never let her go. ~ Amen
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Even though this was written on my blog, I hadn't plan on "publishing" it for others to see because it was a personal prayer for a friend from the past who is fighting a raging battling against cancer. At the time, the computer was the only thing I had to "write" with and I had to get my feelings out - not my feelings, the prayer I felt I had to pray RIGHT THEN! So, I used my blog space to write it down and make it more concrete (do all writer's feel that need to put it down on paper?). The more I thought about it, the more I decided, "Yes, I am going to "publish" it, so that I can ask for others to pray as well. . .


That said - MY GOD IS AN AWESOME GOD WHO STILL PERFORMS MIRACLES EVEN TODAY!!!
If you believe this too, please join me in praying for a miracle for my friend, Faith Williams and may Heaven's door be knocked upon until God answers. 


Thank you one and all!

Peek a Boo . . . aka Spinning

Peek a Boo

Peek a boo.
I see you;
every now and then
girl I once had been.

Twirling ‘round.
Whirling ‘round.
Arms out blurring.
Imagination stirring
Auburn hair swirling

The laughter doesn’t stop.
From dizziness I drop
as the sky spins 'round.

Peek a boo.
Where are you?
Woman I yearn to be;
Whom I have yet to see.

Troubles twirling.
Worries whirling.
Busyness blurring.
Time stealing
moments kneeling.

The turmoil doesn’t stop
‘til from fatigue I drop
as the world spins ‘round.
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“Idle hands are the devil’s workshop . . . playthings . . . tools.”  

I have heard this quote many ways through the years and though I understand the concept and somewhat agree, I am not sure I agree entirely. For one thing, if we don't have idle time, we don't have time to play and be creative and I MISS RECESS!! But, seriously, I think the devil loves it when our lives are spinning into a blur, blending into one busy task after another, until our days become distorted into a chaotic mess.  

If our lives are so busy that we fall into the bed exhausted every evening, no prayer whispered from our weary lips, I think the devil dances in glee. When The Word has even a smidgen of dust, or worse the binding lays unbroken, I imagine the Lord’s face etched with sorrow. The minute our days are so full that we don’t have time to say, “Good morning, God!” when we no longer have time to offer a hand to the needy, a waterproof shoulder to the hurting or even a word of praise to a friend or stranger (just to see a smile light up their face) then WE NEED TO SLOW DOWN!!!

I hate to admit it, but if my scenario is true then I have been making the devil very happy these past few months! When my life is so hectic that I can no longer pick up a pen to write a poem of praise (or a cry for deliverance) then I am sure Satan is thrilled; and that is exactly what I have done.

As I write this, I am sitting wrapped in a blanket, shivering from fever and feeling miserable.  As is typical of me, I tend to go, go, go until my body makes me slow down with illness. I should know better by now. But, I have a tendency to get so wrapped up in everything that is going on and everything that needs doing, for myself and others, that I forget to take care of the most important matter of all – myself and my relationship with God.  As old as I am, I still haven’t learned the lesson that I already know. Are you in the same place with me? Let’s try harder to be aware of when life is flying too fast for our own good and ask the Lord to teach us how to slow down and simply celebrate each day.
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To the One who calms my storms,
My creative moments have been stolen by my chaotic life. I’m trying to steal them back again; because I am empty without them. . . I am empty without them, because my creative moments are centered around You and come from You. Without You, I am nothing, and empty vessel waiting to be filled. Help me, Lord, to stop (or at least slow) my spinning out of control days and to concentrate on what matters most. Thank You for Your steadying hand in my life. ~ Amen
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The Merry Mockingbird

The Merry Mockingbird

A merry mockingbird prances
as if she can’t contain her glee;
dancing among the bare branches
of a pecan tree aged grey as she.

The soloist sings loud and strong;
chirping her ever-changing tune;
coaxing the sun awake with song
then softly serenading the moon.

The herald of the break of day
is with elated hymns inviting
the groggy morning to push away
the night’s dark and downy covering.

I watch the sun raise his sleepy head
and with his light the world awakens.
Earth’s horizon that was sun’s bed
the silvery moon now has taken.

The delighted diva has wakened dawn
and sang to stars, "Sleep tight!"
She flutters her feathers, bobs a bow,
then majestically takes flight.
                                                                     Susan Tarrant - March 2012
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Slowly, ever so slowly, the poem finally emerges.  Like a timid animal craving human touch (or like a bird craving the seed I set out), afraid, but ever growing bolder.

I have a mockingbird that visits us every morning. She sits atop the highest branches of one of the oldest, tallest pecan trees we have. Every morning, she sings away my sleepy cobwebs with the most bright and cheerful songs. I started this poem for her and then couldn't get past the first verse. Sometimes writing can be so frustrating!!! I wish my poems came as easy as the songs she sings.
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Creator of all creatures, I thank you with all my heart for the song birds that bring such joy. I cannot imagine a world without them. You make such wonderful, beautiful, magical things! ~ Amen

Psalm 22:14 "I am poured out like water. . ."

Empty

My strength is poured out
like water on wasteland;
evaporating in the searing
heat of hopelessness.
Only a few droplets remain
around the rim of my sanity.

My spirit is deflated;
a pathetic, week-old balloon
barely bobbing in the breeze.
Discouraged, defeated,
clinging to the scarlet ribbon
clutched firmly in the hands of Christ.
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Not all of life is positive. And so, neither can my writing always be. Right now, I am empty, drained of all emotion and energy. I am worn out from being sick, for going on three weeks now, as well as worn out due to a few other pressures in my life that I will only share with God. At this time, I am just too tired to paint on the "smiley face" that tells world the white lie of, "I'm fine today!" 

And you know what? That's okay.

Christians have a lot to be optimistic about but no matter how positive a person, no matter how upbeat and outgoing you may be, life can wear you down. We cannot always be Pollyanna's with never negative outlooks. Drama, demands on the job, financial binds, at home headaches, sickness, self-inflicted stress, simply the unbelievable craziness in our world today. . . it all comes into play. One thing by itself you may be able to handle; maybe even two or possibly three things. But, the burden of everything added together can weigh you down to the dusty levels of discouragement. Down, maybe even defeated in a particular battle, but not lost to the dark side forever.

The good news is that God understands our weariness. He does not condemn us for it. He knows life is sometimes just too much for us to bear. He sends out an invitation to everyone that is the same today as it has always been, "Come unto me . . ." Those who answer His invitation find He is there to provide rest, healing, strength, love, acceptance and amazing peace.

Twila Paris has a song that I love called, The Warrior is a Child. I think the lyrics of that song describe the way I feel today perfectly:
"They don't know that I go running home when I fall down.
They don't know who picks me up when no one is around.
I drop my sword and cry for just awhile,
Cause deep inside this armor, the warrior is a child."
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Father, I would gladly run to accept your invitation, but I am weak emotionally and physically. As a weary child throws up their hands and wails, "Carry me!" so I cry out to You, my heavenly Father. I am sick. I am discouraged. I am broken, but not beyond repair. My outstretched arms reach up to You. Carry me, Lord, until Your strength fills me once again. Then and only then, can I can put back on Your armor and return to the battles of life. In Jesus name I pray. ~ Amen

Be Still My Soul

Hush

ssshhh
slow down
be still
be quiet
and KNOW
that I
AM
GOD

silent
eyes closed
wind's breath
sighs PEACE
my NAME
embrace
MY
COMFORT

you
struggle
you
strive
with the
HOWS
and the
WHYS

like a
bird
you thrash
your wings
against
a SELF-
MADE
cage

breathe in
exhale
surrender
and sense
LOVE’S warmth
MY PRESCENCE
ALWAYS
here

marvel
as oil
in water
so storms
scatter
with the
WORD
JESUS

Hush
be still
and KNOW!
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The last couple of months have been chaotic and not just because of the holidays. Sometimes life just swirls beyond our control. Because of this, I have been doing more praying than writing poetry lately; searching for guidance and the help I need to make changes in myself and in my household. That is not to say that I haven't been writing at all. It seems that one of the most intimate forms of prayer for me is in writing. Don't believe me? Have you read the prayer-filled Psalms? I have learned through the years that at times reaching for a notebook and pen draws me as close, if not closer, to the Lord than kneeling on bended knee (I can write longer than I can kneel sometimes.) But to write, one must slow down and slowing down is not one of my strong suits. Neither is being still or quiet, but it seems that is what God is leading me to do right now.

I just wish I was better at submitting control and trusting completely. I fail miserably at surrendering. Part of me fights within screaming, "You got yourself into this mess! It is your job to get yourself out!" Only thing is, sometimes our "solutions" to get us out of situations, send us spiraling even further into the depths of disaster instead of solving anything. It is only after we have beaten our heads against one brick wall after another that - with head pounding like a bass drum - we finally are ready to submit control over to God. Why do we do that? Why must we batter our wings against our self-made cages of false control until they are bloody and nearly broken before we look to the Father; who has been wanting to help us all along? He has simply been waiting on us to ask and then. . . hand the problem over to HIM. Not just part of the problem. Not just put it down for a moment and pick it back up again. But, for us to TRUST Him enough, to BELIEVE in Him enough, for our FAITH to be strong enough to KNOW that HE is capable of handling and WILL handle every minor detail BETTER than we can!

Just as it takes more strength to love than to hate; it takes more strength to let go than to hold tight! BE STILL! Let go of the problems in life today and trust God to handle them. Only He knows the best way to deal with the issue anyway. :-)

Exodus 14:14 (NIV)

"The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.”
Psalm 46:10
"Be still and know that I am God."

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Lord, I am beyond tired. I am exhausted. I am tired of fighting: with myself, with others, with finances, with past mistakes I can't take back. . . . tired of so many things, Father. I believe You want to - and can - help me with every situation that plagues me! Forgive my unbelief. Increase my faith and allow me to rest in You! Thank you for every blessing! ~ Amen