Not Ready Yet

Billy Ray Marshall 1942-2011

Not Ready Yet

The time is near and we try to prepare
but you are never truly ready;
when all that’s left is family and prayer
to help keep our emotions steady.

He moans and shudders in his sleep
as if something in his dreams he dreads;
or is it only physical failings that keep
him fidgeting, restless in bed?

Oh, how I wish his sleep was sound
filled with dreams pleasant and appealing;
that he would wake up to astound
everyone with his amazing healing.

But wishes do not miracles make,
no matter how heartfelt the yearning,
and so I plead for my friend’s sake
that God will please ease his hurting.

To let him know that God is real,
may his soul be warmed with His Spirit.
May the Lord's cloak of love he feel
and draw assurance from it.

May angels whisper in his ear
of God’s glory and His grace.
But, most of all let him hear
how God’s love is never erased.

Whatever sins he has committed,
whether in past or present they be,
the love of the Savior has acquitted.
My friend's soul has been set free!

Startled awake, his eyes dart side to side
until finally on dear family they focus.
When finally he flies, only God can decide.
May his being with the Savior bring solace.
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Dear Savior, I am not ready to say goodbye yet, but I know my friend is suffering. Ease his pain, Lord. Let him know You are right there beside him to guide him home when you both are ready. Whatever happens, sweet Jesus, don't let him leave this earth without You. ~ Amen
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Sanctified



                                      
Sanctified
As head winds buoy the eagle's flight;
the Lord lifts my striving spirit
to unimaginable heights.

Like Fall rain after Summer's heat;
He replenishes my parched soul
with Living Water replete.

Such as the lowly caterpillar
God molds into majestic butterfly;
this simple sinner, He sanctifies.
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We crave the "Fall rain after Summer's heat!"

I am beginning to think the drought we have been experiencing has evaporated more than the pools and riverbeds around us; it has dried up the wells of creative writing within me as well. So, since I was rummaging through my old scribblings the other day, I decided to post something from my past. I ran across this poem I wrote in 2004 and thought the line about my "parched soul" mirrored our parched land.
 
Perhaps with the upcoming cooler weather of Fall, and the refreshing rains I know will eventually bless us, God will also refill my soul with words to paint new poems soon. "Showers of blessings, showers of blessings we need. Mercy drops 'round us be falling, but for the showers we plead." *
“There shall be showers of blessing.” Ezekiel 34:26
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To the One who sanctifies me, the Shaper of my Soul. Please hear my prayer. The land is parched. The plants are wilting, even trees are shriveling, leaves and grass crunch beneath our feet; crushing our weary spirits with each step. In the extreme heat of this summer, our souls wither as well. Bless us soon with showers to refresh the land. Rejuvenate our spirits with the coolness of Living Water so our spirits may never thirst again. Thank you for renewing our arid world - within and without. ~ Amen

* There Shall Be Showers of Blessings, by Daniel W. Whittle, 1883

Better By Now

Better By Now

I thought things would be better by now.
I thought life would be sweeter somehow.
But the years roll by and nothing has changed;
the same old, same old simply rearranged.
I thought things would be better by now.

I thought dreams were supposed to come true,
I know not all, but at least a few.
And although my life hasn’t been all bad,
there have been dreams that I wish I’d had;
dreams I thought were supposed to come true.

I thought I would be more than just this;
thought there would be more to reminisce.
Yet, the woman I longed to be remains
confined within her emotional chains.
I thought I would be more than just this.
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I guess it is obvious from my writing that I have been in a blue mood lately. I know it will pass; but I hate being down when I know I am blessed in so many ways. And yet, sometimes counting our blessings isn’t as easy as it should be. Recently, I read this quote from an Ella Wheeler Wilcox poem and agreed wholeheartedly:

“Tis easy enough to be pleasant,
when life flows along like a song;
but a man of worthwhile is the one who will smile
when everything goes dead wrong.”

There are several issues that have my emotions reeling lately; some of them I have control over, others I don’t (though some would argue that I have control over those as well and just don’t have the heart to do what I should). I will spare you hearing about all of them and just begin at the beginning of my slump.

It all began by cleaning my room and finding some old journals of mine. I think I should just burn the things sometimes! Though there are good times recorded in them as well, it is upsetting to me to go back and read the same struggles, heartaches, things I planned that never happened and the still yet to be answered prayers. Last year, five years, ten years ago and still the same issues unresolved? What gives?

I don’t blame God; though it is tempting at times to scream, “WHY DO YOU WAIT?” I know that I am a part of the problem. I have allowed some of these unfulfilled dreams and problems to persist. Whether it is by lack of self-esteem, co-dependency, lack of a backbone, fear. . . I have failed to walk in faith that God will take care of everything. I have failed to completely trust God to use me the way I long to be used and to solve any trials that come from answering His call. When I have prayed, "What should I do?" I have failed to truly listen. I am a doubting Thomas. . .

I have a darling young friend whose faith right now I envy so much. She and her husband are stepping out, trusting that God will be their safety net, and going down a whole new path in life. Her husband has answered God’s call to preach, in another town, a town that is not next door to all the family and friends they love so much. God said, "Do it or I will get someone else who will." (paraphrased by me) and their response was, "Yes, Sir!" I am so proud of them and thrilled for them. . . and maybe a tinge jealous.

How many times has God asked something of me and I have doubted the message was from Him, doubted my ability, doubted He would take care of the financial issues or other trials that would come from taking that unfamiliar path? Maybe, if I had trusted trusted more, I would be the woman I imagined being by now. Maybe if I begin to trust more today, I still can be. . .
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Heavenly Father, forgive my lack of faith and trust. Forgive me for the times I have asked for Your guidance and then failed to listen long enough to hear Your voice. Help me, Lord, even now, to hear what You are telling me to do. And then, allow me to step out without fear and do it with the peace, reassurance and strength only You can give. Increase my faith and help me become the woman of grace we both want me to be. I seek You, God. Find me!  ~ Amen

She Will Not Break

                                                              Image from Microsoft Word Sample Pictures

She Will Not Break

She is a tree of life
silhouetted against the Son,
shaped by the seasons
and the passing of time;
embracing the forces of
nature that make her
the woman she has become.

Her branches spread broadly
reaching out to life with love.
She shades the weary,
while sheltering the needy.
Though she may wilt beneath
hardships scorching heat,
still, she will not break.

Winds of change have come
as a debonair dancer
whisking her to and fro.
Storms beat harshly upon her.
She bowed her branches low
while fingertip leaves
grasped for Ground.

Her roots are entwined
‘round the Rock of her faith;
holding her firmly in place
no matter season's nature.
With willingness to bend,
submit she may, but she
trusts her fate to Him.

She will not break!
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This is not what I intended to write. I prefer my poetry to rhyme and have some semblance of rhythm. For the last few weeks I have been scribbling, rearranging, contemplating and downright arguing with lines. The only thing I really knew was the title and the line "Her roots are entwined 'round the Rock of her faith". And though this is not at all what I imagined in my mind - I envisioned something more along the lines of Amy Grant's "Can You Reach My Friend" or a letter to God - apparently this is what insisted on being written.

Each poem I attempt to write is begun with, "God, guide me" - even more in cases like this. You see, I have a friend, a very sweet, dear friend who I wanted to honor encourage with a poem. I asked God to help me write something especially for her. This lady has weathered one storm after another. Her life has been whisked one way and then tossed another before she can even stop trembling from the first. She has faced things that surely would have broken me. And yet, she continues on. This woman of worth is an inspiration to me, though she does not see herself as such. For that matter, she would probably laugh out loud at the thought. But, it doesn't keep it from being true.

So my dear friend, for your love of privacy, I will not name your name. But, I hope as you read this poem that God opens your eyes to the realization that I am writing it in praise of you. I share your poem with all the other women out there that face daily battles that bow them low to the ground in prayer. I hope at least one finds encouragement and strength in what I have written. Keep your "roots entwined 'round the Rock" and hang tight! God will see you/us through!
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My Rock in the midst of my storms, We all have bad days, bone-weary weeks and even sometimes a horrendous month. But, Lord what are we to think when those months turn into unbelievable years of hardships? I have suffered through long trials before that I thought would never end. There are still unanswered prayers that were brought before You ages ago that make me ask, "What about them are not within Your will". But, in the case of my sweet friend, Father, the trials never seem to end before another begins. How long, Lord? Is there a lesson that is yet to be learned? If so, open her heart to receive it. I know You hold her in Your embrace. I know she faithfully puts her trust in You. I ask dear Lord, that You bless my friend. Rescue her and bring her days, weeks, months, YEARS of joy once again! In Christ name I pray. ~ Amen

A few of my favorite things . . .

picture from a postcard by Karin Muller 2002

I Love . . .

I love flowers in full bloom
replacing winter’s gloom,
a garden to admire
and roses.

I love Fall leaves turning gold,
hot chocolate when it’s cold,
a blanket by the fire
and candle light.

I love walking in the rain,
thunder’s deep refrain,
lightning in the sky
and puddles.

I love the chorus of the night,
a full moon shining bright,
stray clouds floating by
and star gazing.

I love wind dancing with the leaves,
singing through the trees,
lifting up my locks
and chimes play.

I love sitting by a stream,
listening as sun glints gleam,
to water rushing over rocks
and peaceful days.

I love morning’s gentle glow,
how evening colors flow,
rainbows’ banded hues
and prisms.

I love mourning dove’s soft call,
its melancholy drawl,
soothing as it coos;
and you. . . .

I
  love
         you
                too!
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This post is a little on the lighter side. I need the lighter, even the downright silly side sometimes, to write something simply to make me smile. I hope it makes you smile too!

I remember listening to my Dad's old albums and 45s when I was little. I would happily sing along to Lynn Anderson's "I Wish I Was a Little Boy Again", to Bobby Vee's "The Night Has a Thousand Eyes" and many, many others too numerous to list. The other day, I was watching TV and there was a commercial with baby ducks on it  and an old song by Tom T. Hall called "I Love" started playing in my head: "I love little baby ducks, old pickup trucks, slow movin' trains and rain..." Next thing you know, I was replacing his list with my own. And so became this little poem; my own little list of my favorite things (and yet another song pops in my head, "Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens. . . lol) I have been adding to and rearranging every night for a week now. Yes, I am proud to say, I have been keeping my birthday promise to myself to make time to write a little bit every day. Yeah!

So, my question to you is, "What do you love?" Start a list today!
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Creator of All Things Wonderful, thank you for opening my eyes to things that I love! In the negative world that we live in, it is so easy to mentally list the things we "hate" and the things we think are going wrong in our lives. Help me, Lord, to keep my eyes focused on the positive and I will keep adding to the list to remind me of the good things that surround me. Give me strength to handle the negative and to grow in faith due to them. I'm counting my blessings, Father, starting with knowing that Your list of "I love. . ." includes ME! You Love Me! Thank you for that. I love You too! ~ Amen.

Listening. . .

Listening for a Whisper

Caught in a world of
constant noise,
how can we hope
to hear God's voice?

I close my eyes and
strain to hear
the voice inaudible
to faithless ears.

Sometimes that voice
is silent,
still,
waiting intently,
MY will to kneel.

If hurried, the voice
will go unheard.
I've learned calmly wait
upon the Word.

From time to time
the roles reverse
and He seeks with me
to first converse.

A whispered word when
least expected
sings to my soul
God's love projected!

Eagerly listening,
I strain to hear.
May God see fit
to open my ears.
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To quote the Grinch, "Oh, the noise! Oh, the noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!"

In the chaotic world we live in, we are surrounded by by a cacophony of clatter 24/7! Some people have to have some form of rackett constantly. They wake and they turn on the TV or radio immediately. Those with TVs in their bedrooms may have never turned them off the night before in the first place; sleeping with the noise filtering in their ears as they sleep and seeping into their subconscious. Music blares from their cars as soon as they crank them (some even shake the windows of my third floor office with their bass). They must have noise to entertain them constantly or they are "bored".

Others of us prefer at least some quiet time, but even we stick the headphones of our iPods in our ears as we exercise. We too turn the TV on in the evenings to get lost in the programs and forget the stressful day. The doctors' offices, that once had magazines to read while waiting, now have television to watch instead. There was a time women knew if they took their families out to eat, they would finally have a captive audience and they would  talk to each other as they ate; but, now even restaurants have televisions to steal the focus of our families off of one another. Many places have music, rather your genre of song or not, playing in the background. We have phones ringing, sirens screaming, cash registers dinging, people chatting, children crying, etc. etc. etc. Noise all around us, every day, all day.

Sometimes I think it is a sneaky conspiracy to fill our minds with anything but a chance to have thoughts of our own! I have to wonder, with all this noise pollution surrounding us, if God does speak in a still, small voice, how can we possibly hear Him? How long can we, as individuals and as a nation, continue to ignore the voice of God before He chooses a more drastic measure to capture our attention?
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Prince of Peace, In our hectic world filled with ever-changing "progress", I sometimes wonder if in our electronic age of convenience, we are not losing the most important asset to our lives - conversation with You. So much noise surrounds me at times that it honestly unnerves me. I search for silence throughout the day so that I might hear your voice guiding me. And yet, so many times, some interrupting noise disturbs the moment of meditation. I long to talk with You as Elijah and other prophets once did. I delight in the knowledge that one day we will converse face-to-face in heaven. Until that day, Lord, please open my ears and magnify Your voice so that I might hear. ~ Amen 
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1 Kings 19:11-12 "And he said, Go forth, and stand upon the mount before the LORD. And, behold, the LORD passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before the LORD; but the LORD was not in the wind: and after the wind an earthquake; but the LORD was not in the earthquake: And after the earthquake a fire; but the LORD was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice."

Memorable Moments

Memorable Moments

How much those peaceful moments meant
when she dropped all that
needed doing but wasn’t done,
simply to walk as sun sat.

How much these present moments mean
talking each day awhile,
‘bout everything and not a thing,
simply to hear her voice smile.

How much these moments will always mean,
moments content and calm,
a child now grown; but still loving
simply to spend time with Mom.
                                                                              written by Susan Bunn Tarrant, May 2011
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There are a few women I have known in my life that I have considered to be exceptional women of God; women who portrayed beautiful, quiet spirits, graceful not only in the way they moved; but also in the way they expressed themselves. These women - no matter what their surroundings or circumstance - in my opinion, always seemed to portray the "noble character" used to describe Ruth in the Bible. To me, this is one of the most complimentary characteristics a women can possess.

I am blessed to be able to say that the first one of these women of noble character and grace I ever "met" was my own sweet mother. She is an inspiration to me! Never has there been a time when I have doubted her love. Never have I doubted that she would be there for me if I called, to help me through whatever the situation might be. Never has there been a time that she has been unwilling to forgive my mistakes. When I fall, she helps me pick myself up, dust myself off and not only sets me back on the right path but walks it with me as mother and friend. She has always told me I could be whatever I wanted and do whatever I dreamed. She is my constant cheerleader and support group rolled into one.

I love you, Mom! Happy Mother's Day!
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Heavenly Father: On this day that we celebrate mothers one and all, I ask that you bless new mothers as they hold their precious bundles of joy. Bless the mothers of toddlers, tweens and teens, mothers of children now grown and even the mothers who now call heaven their home. My own mother who loves You and I both so much, I ask that today she feels Your gentle touch. As she has blessed me all these years, may I bless her now and in years to come. ~ Amen