Over and Above All of This

Over and Above All of This

Reaching out to be shoved back,

try to talk and instead catch flak.
Compromise and turn the cheek,
only to be despised as weak.

Sacrificing most wants and dreams,

bent over backwards, so it seems,
to please those who could care less
about my hopes and happiness.

Faith sees the good buried within,

and yet my patience has worn thin.
How long does one wait on others
to open their eyes to discover…

the likely “we” that we could be,
(so much more than they perceive),
over and above all of this,
the “should be” instead of what is?

Having prayed for God’s guidance,
yet receiving only silence,
I choose to walk where feared to tread.
Praying not my will, but His instead.
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I know of no one who is not estranged with someone - whether family, friend or lost lover. Sometimes it is by our choice, sometimes it is by theirs. It is the way it is.

I have a huge, loving heart. All of my life, I have tried to please others. I pour all I have into the relationship, longing for the like (or love) to be reciprocated. But, sometimes that is simply not the case. You can bend over backwards until you break! Trust me, I know. It is what I do. The hardest part is admitting that you cannot change things and finally let go of the relationship. You cannot force that other person to care or to do what is right. You can’t force their eyes to see the hurt they are causing others.

Whether it is a relationship with a brother, sister, friend, whoever….sometimes, for self-preservation’s sake, you have to say, “I’m done!” This doesn't mean that you stop loving them. It doesn't mean that you no longer care. You can still pray for that person and for the situation. I have been guilty of praying for God to harden my heart so I wouldn't care so much. The Lord knows what He is doing with all prayers – answered or not. Maybe in time, God will intervene and a change will come. But until then, sometimes you have to step away to keep from being torn apart by the apathy, the anger, the destructive nature of others.

It is not easy. Some are so embedded in our lives that we can’t escape encounters with them. The hurt boils back up, the anger and bitterness taste like bile to your tongue. It is hard to not be dragged back in. You must pray your way through and not give in. It’s not easy...another thing I know.

Trust God! He will sustain you. Stay strong and pray your way through until you reach the other side of darkness. May God forever be your Light. 

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Jesus, my Savior: I know that You know rejection greater than any of us. Help me follow Your divine example as I try to pray for those who have hurt me. When I cannot find the words to pray because of bitterness or resentment, pray FOR me. Hear my heart. Guide me as how to best pray for the ones who push me away. Strengthen me, for I am weak and let Your will be done in their lives and mine. ~ Amen