Echoes of Emptiness

Hello?

                                Low…Low…Low...

Are you here?

                                Fear…Fear…Fear…

I can’t see you!

                                Rue…Rue…Rue…

It’s too dark!

                                Stark…Stark…Stark…

You promised not to leave.

                                Grieve…Grieve…Grieve…

I should have known.

                                Lone…Lone…Lone…

WHERE ARE YOU?

                                Who…Who…Who…

Slim light slices through darkness

                                Test…Test…Test…

A doorway slowly creaks open

                                Hopin’…Hopin’…Hopin’…

Are you coming then?                                                  

Then…Then…
              When…When...

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Psalm 13: 1-2

“How long O Lord, will you forget me? Forever? How long wilt thou hide thy face from me?

How long shall I take counsel in my soul, having sorrow in my heart daily?”…

And so begins one of the many psalms written by David. You know, the one that the Bible proclaims was “a man after God’s own heart.” Yet, even the beloved David had periods of time that he felt abandoned by God; when the trials in his life just became too much to bear. He was a man on the run, in the wilderness, trying to evade Saul’s army. I am sure the weight of it all must have worn him down at times. Still, if a man as close to God’s heart as David could experience doubt and emptiness, then of course, so can we.

How easy it is to praise God when everything is sunshine and roses: the bills are paid and work is going well, at home the smell of warm food drifts from the kitchen, the kids are behaving and love abounds. But when times get hard and the raging storms come thundering in, that’s when the real testing of our faith begins.

As Christians, we are assured that God has a plan for us. We know in our hearts that He never leaves us and that His timing is perfect. Still, as our burdens get heavier and we bow beneath the load, we can’t help but cry out “Where are you, Lord? Have You forgotten me? How long before You rescue me from my situation?”

I wish I could tell you in forty days and forty nights the storms will scatter and the only showers remaining will be those of abundant blessings. The hard fact is there is no prearranged timetable, no countdown to mark off the days left to endure. And so we do the only thing we can do. We pull out and polish our nicked and slightly tarnished armor, strap it on, hold tight to our shields, plant our feet, grit our teeth…And wait. 

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Lord of Light, David's prayer in Psalm 13 echoes the prayer in my own heart. Like David, I end my psalm of desperate seeking with refrains of hope; for I know that even the darkness hides nothing from You and that You will provide help in Your perfect timing. Still my prayers are becoming pleadings. Come quickly to my rescue, Abba, for only You can. ~ Amen