If I Had But Been There

If I Had But Been There

If I had been Mary –
when the angel Gabriel appeared
like Moses, I may have protested
and with God’s plan interfered;
asking, “Who am I to bear our Savior
but a poor and simple maiden?”

If I had been Joseph –
the responsibility would weigh
always on my mind & in my heart stay,
wondering what part I might play
in the raising of the Holy One,
not mine, but God’s son.

If I had been the innkeeper –
I would have given Mary my bed
on which to rest her weary body.
I would have taken the stable instead;
the babe, then born in my humble home,
Not lying in a manger.

If I had been a shepherd –
standing guard on that blessed night,
at the surprising sight of heaven’s hosts,
my legs might have trembled with fright.
Yet, I would have crawled to His crude crib
just for a glimpse of Christ.

If I had been a servant–
for I dare not see myself a king,
with no frankincense or myrrh to offer,
nothing of great value to bring,
my heart would I gladly hand over.
unto the King of Kings.

If I had but been there. . .

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The grace Mary showed at the acceptance of Gabriel's proclamation has always astonished me. The amazement of an angel standing before me would have been enough to boggle my mind & send my heart racing; but to then hear that God had chosen ME to bear the Savior!?!?! I'm sure I would have sank to the ground in utter shock. Sure, the people knew the coming of a Savior had been prophesied - just as we know Jesus will return, but don't know when - but I bet Mary never thought it would happen in her lifetime and that SHE would be chosen to be His mother! She will forever be called blessed . . .

And poor Joseph, can you imagine the mixture of emotions he must have felt knowing he was taking on the responsibility of being a stepfather to God's Son? Just the idea of Jesus being a typical (but in no way typical) child; watching God incarnate learn to walk, talk, get into mischief (did He ever need to be disciplined as other children do), studying, learning, growing into a man. . . 
I wonder if Joseph ever wondered, "What could the Son of God ever learn from me?"

The innkeeper is a whole other story to me. Mary & Joseph knew the precious cargo she carried inside her womb. The innkeeper didn't have a clue who he was sending to stay in the stable. But, give me a break. This very pregnant woman - in labor even - is standing at your door in need of help & you send her away? I don't think I could have done that one. I know it was crowded. I know all the rooms were full. But, that innkeeper slept somewhere that night & I am betting it was a lot more comfortable than a bed of hay.

Can you see yourself a shepherd standing watch over the flocks in the middle of the night. If the sky filled with a joyous choir of angels TONIGHT right in front of you, how do you think you would respond? Would your knees turn to water? Would you turn & run in fear? Would you faint? Oh sure, the angel said, "Be not afraid," but you know those shepherds had to be quaking where they stood. Obviously, I'm not sure what I would do; but, I would like to think that I would have done whatever it took to get to find that stable & see my newborn Savior. At least, I hope I would . . . If I had but been there.
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Son of the Highest - Christmas season is upon us. Houses are being decorated inside & out. Crowds are flocking the stores filling their buggies with various foods to feast upon & gifts to give. Traffic is insane! Evergreen trees are bejeweled with glimmering lights, a hodge-podge of ornaments, silver tinsel & bows. The radio belts out the season's favorite melodies. Yet, this celebration is not about the lights twinkling in the night or the presents under the shimmering tree. This time of year, Christians celebrate Your birth! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JESUS! I'm so glad You agreed to exchange Your heavenly home for a lowly place on earth for awhile. All so that one day, I could share that glorious heavenly home with You. Thank you for agreeing to be the greatest gift of all! Like the little drummer boy, I have no gift to bring - except to give you me!  ~ Amen  

While the World Awakes

While the World Awakes



Sitting serenely

in the quiet of dawn,

stretching cat-like toward heaven,

as I stifle a yawn

- while the world awakes.

Bible before me,

notebook and pen in hand;

moments of mediation

before the day’s demands

battle for my time.

Weather-warped table,

sun-bleached by summer’s rays,

hosting more writing sessions

than picnics nowadays;

- serving my spirit.

Seed-strewn patio.

Breakfast for feathered friends.

While a squirrel scolds, “Where is mine?”

a mourning dove fends

against temptation.

Roosting in the oak

that provides shade for me

the dove watches intently.

from the top of the tree.

- Patiently, I wait.

There will be a day

he fights the urge to flee

and glides down from the treetop

to have a meal with me,

no longer afraid.

One peaceful morning

in the quiet of dawn

- while the world awakes.

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Anyone who knows me knows I am not an early bird; but I'm learning to be. I am learning that it is worth fighting the urge to hit the snooze button and get Barry off on his way; then I get the joy of stepping out the back door to listen to the stillness of morning. I can see why the psalmist wrote so many times of meeting God in the morning. The peace is so tangible it seems to soak into your soul. If there is any time that the Lord's still, small voice can literally be heard, surely the dawning of day would be that moment. May you come to know the blessing of morning's stillness as I am beginning to!

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Thank you, Morning Star. Joy indeed comes in the morning! In the stillness of the dawn, open my heart and soul to Your quiet voice. Fill me with Your peace and strengthen me for the challenges yet to come. Help me to fight the urge to sleep in, so that I may grow ever closer to You in our morning moments together. ~ Amen

Missing Peace . . .

Missing Peace

It was a dark and stormy night,
upon which I thought I might
attempt to un-puzzle the
uncertainty within me -
searching for that missing peace.

Intertwined in past and present,
portrayals of memories spent,
all shaped my personality,
increased individuality,
each part a piece of who I am.

These bits of picture puzzle lay
scattered in total disarray
like photos twirled within the wind
then left leisurely to descend
to fall wherever they may.

Each piece presented a point in life
either filled with joy or with strife.
Some sharply jagged shards
retold a time when life was marred.
Still, these points had a purpose.

Others arched and dipped and bent
as my life was casually spent
bustling from day to day.
Straight edges did replay
tedious times of much the same.

Pastel parts shone sweet innocence,
blushing charming childhood events.
Vibrant flashes of color told
stories of when I was bold
as scarlet lipstick and fedora hats.

Darker pieces smoldered still
of when life's struggles seemed all uphill.
Depression, like the black hole's grasp,
sucked dreams from my tight-held clasp,
- my soul full of unfulfillment.

As interlocking images merged,
a scene within a scene emerged.
A photo-mosaic work of art;
from which my puzzle did impart
more than what meets the unseeing eye.

For as my life was put in place
I began to see Another’s face
My heart could not help but implore,
"Is this pretend or something more?
Are You really a part of who I am?"

A loving voice gently replied,
"Please let your doubts and fears subside.
Is it so hard to comprehend?
For your name is inscribed upon my hand;
your face is engraved within my heart.”

"I am in you and you in Me
always have been, always will be.
You have let me in your heart;
Now, I will forever be a part;
no matter what piece life's puzzle plays."

That -
was when I finally found
the Peace I had been missing.
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Have you ever seen a photomosaic puzzle? Thousands of miniature images combine to make one amazing puzzle portrait and the puzzle itself is an extreme challenge. And so the unpuzzling of pieces begins . . .
Oh, and by the way, the "dark and stormy night" is a tribute to one of my most beloved childhood "friends", one of the most well known, want-to-be authors ever - Charles Schulz's Snoopy! :-)

Recently, I was doing some soul searching. No, it was not really a dark and stormy night, but a storm did rage within me. My emotions smoldered for several days as I battled with my own inner turmoil. So, me being me, I finally picked up a notebook and started to write to try and figure things out. One of the phrases that popped in my head was, "Is this all just pretend or are you (God) really a part of who I am?" That phrase just wouldn't go away.

I honestly don't know how the thought of the puzzle came into play. Somehow, as I wrote, I was reminded of a photomosaic puzzle I have; and how all the pieces come together to form something greater than the tiny illustrations alone. My "AH HA!" moment! That is how I see my life. Everything in my past has in some way shaped me into the person I am today. Good times, hard times, scary times, foolish mistakes, all of it. . . Even my present choices, good or bad, still effect who I am and my future. Yet, God is always there somewhere in the midst of it all - even in my worst mistakes and most embarrassing moments. My prayer is that when all the pieces of my life's puzzle are put into place, the greater image of Christ working in the background shines through; and that through my mere existence, in some way, His divine glory appears to others!
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My Prince of Peace, I remember putting puzzles together with my Dad as a child. It always drove me crazy that I could look for a missing piece for the longest time and he could walk right up, look over the strewn puzzle, pick one up and just plop it into place. I would look so long that the pieces all began to look the same. I would become frustrated and confused -which just made finding the right piece even harder. Dad's vision was always clearer and Your's, Heavenly Father, sees how everything fits together from the beginning to the end. Thank You for clearing my muddled vision, calming my confusion and for reminding me that You are a part of every piece of my life. ~ Amen

"I will never leave thee; nor forsake thee." Hebrews 13:5

Along the Way

Master, don’t send me down this path, I pray.
I will be your companion along the way.

But, Lord, the path seems treacherous and steep.
I promise your steps to steady and keep.

The trail narrows, God, I fear I’ll fall.
My hand will catch you - before you call.

Jesus, are those storms on the horizon, I see?
Don’t fear. Your shield from the storms I’ll always be.

The climb grows darker, Father. Please, stay close!
I will be your light when you need it most.

Abba, what will we find at the journey’s end?
Peace, love and healing, my child, as your heart, body and soul I mend.

                                                                                   Written for Diana D. and Mom _______________________________________________________________
It rends my heart in two to watch a friend of mine begin her battle against cancer with chemo treatments next week. I can only imagine the fear of the unknown that must plague her right now. To add to the heartache, my dear mother continues to have health complications and just longs to feel better again. I long to help them with this emotional burden, to take it all away, but I can't. All I can do is write what I hope are words of comfort and over my services for whatever I might be able to do to help. The other day, with these two troubling my mind, the image of a steep, dark, treacherous mountain trail came to mind. I envisioned it to be the reluctant path that laid before them. If I could draw it, you would see a dark setting with someone clinging to a narrow, rocky edge. They are ooking up past lightening-filled storm clouds to the warm, light of heaven breaking through above. The figure of someone is walking toward them; between the storm and the person. That someone being Christ. . .

The old adage of “No one said life would be easy. . .” is often quoted and remains forever true. Though we all dream of a fairytale life, the dark side of reality is always there when we wake up. Like it or not, there are times in life that we really don’t like the road that has been laid out before us. Maybe a job was lost or a fire took everything you own. Perhaps a spouse has passed away or simply decided one day that they no longer wanted to be “the other half”. Maybe you have been diagnosed with a serious illness. Whatever the situation might be, you are facing a road of uncertainty and your world seems to be spiraling out of control. Your stomach is in knots and a part of you feels betrayed. This is not what you signed up for; yet you have no choice but to face it. You may even feel totally alone even though family and friend surround you. The question, “Why me, Lord?” plays over and over again like a broken record. I know. I have been there myself a time or two.

Even though they are persistent, push the “whys” away. Knowing wouldn’t change the path you are now destined to take anyway. Instead, focus on the “Who”. Do you remember the invisible friend you played with as a child? Admit it! I know I had one. No matter how many people told me that friend wasn’t real, he still existed in my eyes. Well, my theory is that our unseen, childhood friends were not necessarily imaginary. Maybe they were our guardian angels that we still had enough faith to see. *smile* God said we all need to have a childlike faith; to trust Him completely. He also promised, “I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee” (Hebrews 13:5). Our Father promised He would be beside us no matter what. Believe it! God does not break His promises. Even though you cannot see Him, just because you cannot always feel Him, accept it as truth. Be as sure of it as you were of that invisible friend. Talk to the Lord just as you talked to your childhood companion.

Even though the road is rough and unsure, God walks right beside you along the way - offering a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen and a hand to wipe away the tears. There will be another turn in the road, friend. Things will get easier. Maybe not as soon as we would like for it to be; but rest assured God is your constant companion along the journey and He will not only help you, but also heal your broken heart and spirit.
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My Companion and Friend, You are the one true constant in my life. I am so thankful that You never leave me or those that I care about. Even during the scariest and the ugliest of days, You are still right by our side. Sometimes, during these situations, I do not respond in the most approriate of ways. The fear, anger, hurt that it is happening in the first place, rages like a storm within me and I react before I stop and pray. Even then, You do not walk away in disappointment. For Your mercy, I am forever thankful. During one of the most difficult times in my life, I literally felt Your arms hold me while I cried. I pray those same arms of warmth and love wrap around my friend and my mother now. Comfort them. Heal them. Fill them both with the strength and peace that can only come from You. ~ Amen

Death is but a Doorway

Death is but a Doorway

Death is but a doorway
to another destination.
Not to be feared, but seen as
the soul’s continuation
along this wonderous journey
which is called eternity.

Death is only seen as sorrow
to the grieving left behind.
The heart is an open wound,
yet, may this give peace of mind.
Where I've gone, you are aware.
Do not let your heart so despair. . .

for you know The Way to get there.
                                                          
                                               Written In Loving Memory of Donnie Jo & Charles Tarrant
                                                                                         By Susan Tarrant, October 2010
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I have been trying to write this poem since the middle of last month. It has not been easy. Part of me feels that I should have stopped at the first verse. It says all that needs to be said. Maybe I will one day cut it down to just that. For now, I will leave it as is . . .

On September 14th, this world lost one of the smartest women I have ever known. I think she loved words as much as I do (smile). On October 12th, just shy of one month later, it lost one of the funniest men. He could tell the craziest stories!!! (Big grin) I loved them both dearly. It breaks my heart to think of how hard it must be for their family right now. And yet, at the same time, I feel that God was merciful. Why? Because I cannot imagine Charles without Donnie Jo. Maybe I am wrong, but I think he would have been lost without her. Though I wish I could put my arms around their daughter, Mary, and give her strength and comfort. I cannot and will not say, "Don't cry," when we lose someone we loved so much. God gave us tears for a reason. But, after the tears, CELEBRATE! Celebrate the life they had and the even more wonderful life they are now experiencing. The one comfort that I have is that they are not truly gone. Their spirits live on in heaven and the next time we see them, we will never have to part again. I look forward to meeting them at the gate someday!

I take that back. . . There is more than one thought that brings comfort to me. There is another. Neither one of them are in pain anymore. They are both completely and totatlly healed of all disease and suffering!!! That is a true blessing that brings peace to my heart.

To the one true Comforter, thank You for the promise of heaven. Thank You for being that bridge to allows us entry into that wonderful world to live with You for eternity. Thank You for the assurance that we will one day be reunited with all the loved ones that passed on before us. What a reunion that will be someday! Your mercy and love are beyond words. ~ Amen 

Fall is in the Air!

Menagerie

Looking about and what do I see?
Six little men looking back at me.
Two have large bundles upon their backs.
Wonder what could be inside their heavy packs?
One man has a hat cocked at a crooked angle.
One's tummy looks as if he just left the table.
Another has a cast of just a wee bit green.
On an older one, traces of red can faintly be seen.

Staring still, a circus suddenly seems to appear.
There are horses and camels and even reindeer.
A lamb is nestled next to a lion's fiery mane;
reminding me of the peace we will one day obtain.
A leaf blows next to a rabbit's hidden lair,
as he nibbles a flower perfuming the air.
Three cats lounge in assorted states of repose.
Where did they all come from? Nobody knows.

Under a crescent moon a ghostly figure floats by.
Next to a haunted house, a scarecrow catches my eye,
staked beside two pumpkins - one with a ghoulish grin.
A skeleton dances by with a witch who has a double chin;
while in a darkened corner, a spider spins its silken strings.
This has become an eerie place, filled with spooky things.

Yet, among all the strange figures roaming around,
a surprising presence of virtue was soon to be found.
She was standing under a cluster of evergreen trees;
her gown of gold flowing as if caught in a breeze.
This angel of good tidings, heralding the Light,
was surrounded by stars that twinkle in the night.

One last look at the landscape, to see what I may see,
shows me two plump snowmen smiling at me with glee.
I retrieve this menagerie of characters from hiding;
as a chilled concoction my son begins dividing.
We mixed it together earlier, with the spices just right;
in eager anticipation of eating such a culinary delight.
Upon a floured board, we rolled the dough very thin.
I wink playfully at my son and he gives me a grin.
Picking certain players, he arranges them just so-so;
pressing their impressions into the gingerbread dough.
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I had something else planned for this week's post; but it is taking awhile to get past a period of what can't exactly be called writer's block - for the words are flowing, just not with the right rhythm and feel that I want to portray. I also had a more fitting picture, but for the moment, I can't get it to upload. So, Fall colors will have to be the scene for now. Can you tell it's been one of those weeks? LOL!

With the poem I wanted not working and the holiday seasons soon to be upon us (one right after another, after another!), I decided to pull a poem up from out of the distant past that I thought was fitting; one that has happy memories for me and hopefully for Ryan as well. I love to bake and what better way to spend time with your kids than to make homemade cookie dough and cut out cookies in a variety of different, sweet shapes to decorate? Bring out the sprinkles, the icing, the M&M's and Red Hots. Bring on the giggles and smiles! Have fun. Be messy. Most of all, remember to count your blessings!

Thank you, God for this fabulous Fall season. The cool weather, the trees changing their attire, leaves dancing in the wind, the bright, orange pumpkins and beautiful mums . . . I can smell the cookies baking, the spiced cider simmering and I'm surrounded by a sense of contentment and peace that flows from heaven's gate to my heart. I love You and Your ever changing seasons, Lord. ~ Amen

Hurry - but, wait . . .

Behold, the Lord comes
and every eye shall see Him.
We must be ready.

Hurry - but, wait . . .

Hurry, Lord!
But. . . wait. . .
There are others I long for us to take.
I know; they are not ready though.

My child, are you telling them of
my limitless grace and undying love?
Do you express the sacrifice of my life?

I try, Lord, but they do not hear.
They twist the words I would make clear;
like a contortionist twists his body.

Do you live your life in such a way
they wonder at your peace each day?
Can your faith be taken at face value?

Well . . .I do gossip a little bit.
At times, I complain, but can I help it?
I am human after all, Lord.

Yes, but you belong to me.
What you think no one will see
is never truly hidden.

Your life is your witness.

Others always scrutinize you;
everything you say and do.
Remember to reflect my image.

With Your help, Lord, I know I will.
Just wait a little longer still;
until the ones I love also love You.

Hurry, child! You cannot wait
There are others I too want to take.
Do not delay! Pray for their deliverance
and . . .
Witness!
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I cannot think of anyone - family, friends or coworkers- who doesn't have a few friends and loved ones in their lives that do not know the Lord as their Savior. Whether they want to believe it or not, we know Jesus will return someday and we don't want them left behind. I know with the ones that are in my life, that trying to talk to some of them about my faith seems a losing battle. They don't want to hear anything "religious". They twist and turn things. Their sarcasm drips like rain from the eaves. How many times have we heard, "Don't try to force your beliefs on me."? We cannot push our beliefs on anyone. Pushing accomplishes nothing but pushing them further away. It is like trying to shove a bitter medicine down the throat of a sick child.  No matter how needed the medicine may be, with a tight-lipped, shake of the head the medicine will be shoved aside.

We cannot convince them with words alone. Perhaps even more important than what we say is how we live.  Our lives must be an example of Christian consistency. No, we are not perfect, I'm definitely not! Take for example this website. It does not matter what I write on it. Though I pray it glorifies God and is pleasing to Him. Though I hope it touches someone, blesses someone, makes a difference . . . What matters most is how I live my life.

How do we walk the path of peace if we have a continual war within the walls of our own home? What witness of Christ is that to our lost family members? What testimony do we have if we go to church on Wednesday night and twice on Sunday; and yet the rest of the week we cuss, rant, rave, gossip and complain? And then you turn and invite your coworker to church? Good luck with that. How much can someone believe your testimony if they see you ever Saturday night drunk at the local bar? I know, I know. That last example may be a little extreme, but you get the point.

Christ is returning, soon! I for one love to watch the clouds in anticipation! But, like the poem, I also pray He waits a little longer for more of the lost to be saved. But, while we wait, what are we (what am I) doing to help witness to these wayward souls?

Gracious Savior, help me to be a better example - a better reflection - of Your image. Give me boldness to speak of your love. Give me courage to share my testimony. Increase my faith. Strengthen my weaknesses. Most of all, let me live a life that daily points to You! ~ Amen

The Earth is the Lord's

The earth is the Lord's
All nature sings His praises
Who are we not to?

Evening's Ensemble

As God's ensemble begins to play
Cottonwood leaves flutter and sway,
rustling like children in anticipation,
caught up in the spirit of adoration.

The wind plays various melodies;
its tunes whispering through the trees;
causing dapper dancers of shadow and light
to frolic in the sun's rays; golden and bright.

The creek croons in gentle harmony.
Diamonds of sunlight laugh with glee.
The current carries them off on liquid wings
as water's murmuring alto softly sings.

Sparrows from the branches add to the song;
blending their chords as they sing along.
Clematis blooms nod their head in perfect time;
perfuming the garden with fragrance divine.

As the evening comes to an end,
the chorus fades upon the wind.
Yet the refrain is heard, or so it seems,
echoing quietly throughout peaceful dreams.

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"The earth is the Lord's and the fullness thereof." Psalm 24:1

I love nature! I believe God speaks to us through it. His voice is in the wind. With it, He caresses us with love and adds to it other instruments of Mother Earth to bring us a sense of peace; if we are willing to listen with our hearts and receive it. The trees themselves praise the Creator. Birds, bees and bugs sing their adulation to the Lord. The Bible says that even the stones cry out His glory. The sheer majesty of the earth and the vast universe reflect the Creator's sovereignty. Man was placed in charge of caring for the earth and yet nature seems to know more than man does about worshiping Christ. Who are we not to do the same? Go outside this evening. Listen to the fullness of the earth singing their praise to God. Then. . . join in the song!!!
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Father of all creatures and creation itself, You formed the earth for Your delight. It brings me delight as well. Open my eyes to see it all with Your eyes of love. Open my heart to learn from it how to truly praise You with every fiber of my being at every moment of the day. ~ Amen

Surrender Never Comes Easy

Surrender Never Comes Easy

Simply give your worries to God;
Such easy instructions amaze.
Just hand it over to the Lord;
We all have heard that phrase.

Place your problems at His throne.
How hard could that possibly be?
Take your troubles to the King.
Why is that such a problem for me?

Don’t pick them up on your way out.
Leave them laying there before Him.
Present your gift-boxed predicaments,
gladly, He will carry them.

Yet, how can I leave them there?
Some are not so easily placed.
I cannot act like they don’t exist
when daily they slap my face.

Still, I refuse to be the spoiled brat
forever whining at His knee,
“Daddy, I want this, need that, fix this. . ."
My conversations a constant plea.

Yes, I know He’s there for me.
Yes, I know God cares.
But, I want my words to be
more than burdens that He shares.

May my petitions before the Lord
be more peppered with high praise
than the cacophony of complaints
I might have a tendency to raise.

I know God understands.
He knows my very heart.
I must raise my voice and rejoice
for the darkness to depart.

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I'm guilty. I have done this same thing over and over again. I take a problem to God and say, "I give up. I surrender this to You. I have tried everything within my power and I can't fix it. It's up to You." And the next day, I am right back where I started; trying to fix things that I have already established that I have not control over. It's not that I don't have faith that God can and will take care of the situation - in His timing. The problem is that things are not solved overnight. You still have to face the difficulty the very next day. The rebellious teenager is still rebelling. The late bills are still unpaid and debt collectors are calling. Needed money just doesn't magically appear. Another car breaks down. A family member loses a job. . . . and I lose my resolve to surrender the situation to Him.

How do I change? If I knew, would I still be making the same mistakes? LOL! I think I have figured out part of the problem though - what I am praying for. I can't pray to change another person. I can pray to change me. I need more grace for myself, personally. I need God to help me learn to be content no matter what situation I am dealing with. The trials are opportunities to grow in faith and in trust and I still have a lot of growing to do.
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King of Kings, Lord of Lords, change me. Help me to accept things more gracefully during difficult times. Teach me to be content no matter what my state in life. Help me to be more accepting of others, allowing me to see them with Your eyes of love. Most of all, when I surrender something into Your care - help me to truly trust in You and leave it there. ~ Amen

Talent - A Gift from God

Silent stones still speak;
whispering of past lives spent;
if you but listen.





Lady Laura

At a glance, I saw her sitting
in the shade of a live oak tree.
Something 'bout her called out to me
and so I chose to change my way;
for to visit with fair lady,
so to learn who she might be.
She sat with cheek on hand resting,
peacefully pondering the day.

Though I’d past there many a time
never had I seen her there;
this young lady sitting where
perhaps she thought no one would see.
Her formal dress did not hide bare
feet peaking beneath fold's flair.
As on a stone she sat sublime,
still more, her mystery beckoned me.

Some roses wrapped around her wrist.
A bouquet lay upon her knee.
Although I came up to greet her,
Shyly, she would not answer me.
Yet, lightly did the stone decree,
Laura, etched for all to see.
Much by family she was missed
for the stone also whispered - Sister.

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First of all, let me say, yes, I know. . . I am weird. I am aware of it. I have admitted it. So, it’s okay for you to say it too, LOL. How many people do you know that actually enjoy visiting a cemetery? I started exploring them first because of genealogy research. Now, I also like to go and admire the detail that sculptors put into so many of the statues. They are true artists! It amazes me that they can take of block of stone and find the features of an angel hidden there – or of a child, a lamb, a Celtic cross or even Jesus Christ in cowboy boots. The young woman portrayed in the picture was craved in 1904 and yet the statue includes details as tiny as her toenails! The talent of stone carvers simply amazes me!

I believe God has given us all some form of talent. Though carving beauty out of rock is something I could never accomplish, each of us have some special talent all our own - a gift from God. There are many types of talent. Some are physical such as in martial arts and other sports, others are more artistic like great photographers, some come in more emotional forms such as an especially caring heart. A few I know have the ability to sketch with such skill that the picture draws you into the page. I know others who bring life to a canvas with various colors and tones, some paint a paper with words, several sing with the beauty of an angel or play an instrument amazingly, some are culinary masterminds, others use puppets to minister to children. See! The list of types of talent goes on and on . . .

Some find their gift from God early in life. Then there are people like me who search even into adulthood before they find their talent - and even then, they're still sometimes insecure about it. If you are unsure what your talent is, don't doubt that you have one. Instead, pray that God reveals your special gift to you - and keep praying until He does. Search within yourself. What do you enjoy? What did you dream of being as a child? What makes you smile? Is there something that brings you peace after a stressful day? Then maybe your talent is tied to one of these joys!
Ask God about your talent. Pursue it. Work at developing it into a thing of beauty like the sculpter worked bit by bit to reveal the beauty hidden in a massive stone. The Bible says if you don't use the talent you are given, you will lose it. So, whether you are a stone carver, a potter, a puppeteer, a musician, an artist with paint or a martial artist. . . whatever your talent - never stop using it! Never stop thanking the Lord for it and He will bless you in your efforts!
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Artist of the midnight sky, Songwriter of nature's chorus, thank You for the talents you have blessed me with. May my development and use of them be blessed and pleasing in Your sight. ~ Amen

Misconception

Misconception

I know the brush you would paint me with and
I'm afraid you have chosen the wrong shade.
For all the good you think you see,
don't paint a portrait that is not me.

I know the glasses you see me through;
noticing every wrong thing that I do.
For all the bad you think you see
a perfect person I can never be.

I know, for all you think you know,
whether you be my friend or foe,
you judge me by what you think you see
but only God sees the whole of me. . .
and only He.

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Short and to the point with this one. . .

I am not perfect. No one is. Others watch and judge us. I am being judged even now for actions and words I am not proud of. Some people tend to think I am something that I am not. In all fairness, I am guilty of judging others. Yin and yang, dark and light, good and bad - we all have both within us. Some people choose to see the good, others find only the negative. Which do you lean toward? Just because we are Christians does not mean we are perfect. If anything, we see our own faults all the more glaring out at us. I have noticed for some time now that my attitude has been wrong. There are some that I don't really want to be around lately because, bluntly, they are not a joy to be around. But, with this in my mind the other day, the thought came to me . . . What do they think of me? Do they think I am a joy to be around? Probably not. With some, I had given up trying to get along. My attitude has been one of being on guard and waiting for them to be hateful and negative; almost to the point of planning my counter attack. THAT is NOT what God would want me to do. Others attitudes have a tendency to rub off, but that is no excuse to set aside what the Lord wants from us; the Christian example we are suppose to be for others. I am making a conscious decision to try and be the peacemaker. I think that is what my Mentor and Master would prefer. I hope that if you are having a battle for peace in your home, at your work place, at school, wherever - that you choose to do the same.
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God, forgive me, please. I am not perfect. I try, but I fail - sometimes over and over again. But, I will get back up with Your help. Set my feet back on the path of peace. Help me to be a source of serenity - calm amidst the chaos of life. Only You can make this change in me, Lord. To quote the apostle Paul, "I am willing, Lord but the flesh is weak."
~ Amen

Family Resemblance

Family Resemblance

I hope that when you look - you see -
you have a sense of some familiarity.
That as you watch, you see the similarity -
traits my Father passed on to me.
So much like Him, I long to be.
I pray my eyes shine with sincerity,
that my words contain simple clarity,
faithfully you find me, praying on bended knee:

To have my Brother Daniel’s devotion;
the willingness to sacrifice the way that Esther did.
Might I love as much as Peter’s passion;
to express the faith of David's - even as a kid.
May my heart overflow with mercy's emotion;
that I might portray sweet Ruth’s loyal compassion.

May I live my life with integrity
and with a sense of expectancy.

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Why a picture of a tree with a poem about family resemblance? Simple. It represents my family tree. We all have a family tree full of ancestors - both of good character and of bad. Jesus had one too. Have you ever really paid attention to it or do you skip over all the "begats"? I used to, until I started researching my own genealogy and decided to start one for Jesus' family in my Family Tree Maker program; just out of curiosity. Even Jesus' tree had what some might consider of questionable character. I think God did it to show that none are beyond His love and grace!

The past few days, I have been working on transferring photos from all of Mom's old albums to the computer to save on a disc. There have been some bittersweet memories awakened with the project. Still, while noticing how much my Dad favors my Grandpa, I realized how much of a compliment it would be if someone said, "You remind me of your Father;" meaning my heavenly Father. What a joy that would be! Then that became a part of my prayers! As I read of Daniel praying three times a day or of how Ruth refused to leave Naomi, I realise that others in my Christian family have traits I would love to reflect as well: devotion, dedication, loyalty, faith, passion . . . and so came my latest poem - an attempt toward a sonnet, something I haven't done in a while. Still, the heart's desire mirrors the written words. How I long for you to see my Father's traits shining through me!

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Heavenly Father, merciful Saviour, help me to learn from the examples of my Christian family written of in Your Word. They all have something to teach. Some are shiny examples of faith; others of the path not to take. I have a tendency to like David, because he showed us both, and he taught how to be truly repentant. Most of all, Abba, let me not be satisfied until my image reflects Yours! ~ Amen

We all need to get away sometime . . .

Evening at the Lake

The full moon rising in the eastern sky poured its light;
flowing molten silver, shimmering across the lake.

Crickets chanted in cadence with katydids' shrill chirrup.
Light chatter among oak leaves whispered overhead.

Motherly wind wrapped me in a soft quilt of warm breeze,
kissing my cheek, stroking my hair in gently caress.

The unmistakable smell of wood smoke drifted by
nonchalantly; the neighboring campfire's cologne.

With the smoke, blew in childhood memories of hot, toasted,
gooey marshmallows browned perfectly by flickering flames.

Serenity settled over the cove.
Peace cloaked the night.
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Sometimes, we just need time away, time to relax, to think, to clear our minds or to simply just meditate on God's blessings. Our Creator knew we would need to take a break from our hectic schedules, so much so, that He devoted a whole day to resting: "and He rested on the seventh day from all His work. . . and God blessed the seventh day and sanctified it. . ." Genesis 2:2-3. Even Jesus needed time to himself. On more than one occasion, Jesus sent his disciples away (or had them wait) while He went into the mountains alone or into the Garden of Gethsemane to pray (by the way, did you know He prayed for YOU?). Time apart is essential to all of us; both physically and mentally. We all need to take time to relax.

Still, there are some of us that don't know how to stop. I confess, I am one of the guilty party. We push ourselves to the limits; until our bodies become so exhausted they shut down on us and force us to come to a screeching halt. Who or what are we good for then? Nothing and nobody. Better yet, how can we hear the still, small voice of God if we are running around in such a hurry we can't even hear ourselves think - much less hear the whisper of heaven. Take time today to catch your breath. Find a place to hideaway and find a moment of peace. Read a good book. Take a long, hot, bubble bath. Go for a leisurely walk in the park or, as I am planning tonight, go build a fire by the lake and watch the sunset while the moon rises.
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Lord of My Life, slow me down. I am exhausted; too tired to think almost. I do this to myself. I know I do. There is no one pushing me, but me. Help me to clear my mind until all I can hear is the clear, soft voice of You leading me, teaching me, comforting me. ~ Amen

Why Lord, why?

Spiteful Cain resented Abel;
longing to be considered best.
In envy Cain slew his brother.
Imagine the parents' distress.
Why Lord, why, must good people suffer so?

The prodigal son struts away
from all he’s ever known;
defiantly disregarding
his dear father’s heart-wrenching moan.
Why Lord, why, must good people suffer so?

Ages ago in Bethlehem,
Did Rachel really have to cry?
Because of one king’s jealous rage;
did those babes really have to die?
Why Lord, why, must good people suffer so?

Today, the trend remains the same,
as brother strives against brother;
destroying family ties and trust
until they forsake one another.
Why Lord, why, must good people suffer so?

A rebellious teen runs away;
sure anything's better than "there".
No rules, no restrictions sure sounds grand.
Her family's pain? She does not care.
Why Lord, why, must good people suffer so?

A unborn babe is denied life
before its first whisper of breath.
Shocked father feels his heart shatter;
the grieving mother longs for death.
Why Lord, why, must good people suffer so?

We put on the armor of God
and against evil seek to stand.
Yet, unfortunate days it seems
that Satan has the upper hand.
Why Lord, why, must good people suffer so?

We do not live in heaven yet;
neither do we inhabit hell.
Demons of darkness fight with Light
and in their battleground we dwell.
That is why good people suffer so.
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Almost since the beginning of time, there has been the question, "Why Lord?"
For equally as long, for some questions, there seems no adequate answer.

Why is a loving Dad taken by death from his adoring daughter?
Why does someone with as brillant a mind as my ex mother-in-law get brain cancer?
Why has alzheimer's taken the memories of a dear family friend, while his helpless wife sits by unrecognized?
Why has the wonderful life of a Christian family I know been torn apart by another's vicious lies and endless gossip?
Even more unbelievably evil in this week's news, why does a parent kill their own child?

Why? Because earth is a battleground between good and evil. Ephesian 6:11-12 warns us of this. "Put on the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places."

How much plainer can it get than that? The devil roams freely - for now. He wants us to question our faith. Satan wants us to stumble and fall. The more pain he causes us, the happier he is. We must put on the whole armor of God and be prepared for battle; not for a simple walk in the park. No, it is not going to be easy, but God promised never to leave us. He will be a light for us during our most difficult times of darkness.

So, what makes up this armor we need to put on each morning?

Ephesians 6:13-18 "Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness; and your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace; above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God: Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints."
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Light in my darkness, too many times I start my day totally unprepared. I know I should start my day with prayer and with quiet time spent studying Your word. Instead, I dilly-dally around until I run out of time. Why should I wonder when I get knocked down by the bad events in life. I haven't strengthened myself in faith and trust. Make me more diligent a soldier in Your army, Lord. Make me a prayer warrior before Your throne. In my precious Savior's name I pray. ~ Amen

Where Does Faith End & Doubt Begin

Where Does Faith End and Doubt Begin

I know you hear me, Lord;
even as my mouth is moving,
before the request has been made.
Even when the plea is so close to my heart
inaudible words are barely breathed from my lips.
I know you hear me, Lord -
but . . .
will You answer?

I know You see me, God;
You painted each dotted freckle.
Every salty, tear-lined lash that's fallen,
each tangled hair and ragged nail, You know.
The plainness I see; is beauty to Thee, who created me.
I know You see me, Lord -
but . . .
do You see my heart's hope?

I know You are here, Father;
no matter where this loco life leads.
From home, to work, in the car, in between,
I believe Your promise: "I will never leave you . . ."
whether on cloud-covered mountaintops or deepest dale;
I know You are here, Father
but . . .
can I feel You hold me, please?

I know You can heal, Savior,
with a touch, a word, a thought.
All who came to You were made whole.
The blind, the lame, the leper knew Your merciful grace.
Even the tormented and broken spirited were rescued by You.
I know You can heal, Savior;
but . . .
the question is, will You?

I know You are the same, Lord.
The King of Glory in Bible times is still
the Great I Am today. Miracles exist even now,
we have simply grown to blinded by busyness to see.
Still I wonder - where does faith end and doubt begin?
I know You are the same, Lord.
I truly believe with every particle of my being,
but . . .
will You bless me with the miracle I seek?

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There are many I know in need of miracles right now - my own family included. There are times when there are no adequate words to say to ease another's pain. So, we sit in silence, just letting them know we are there for them. We hold them; cry with them; pray with them. These times are trying. These times test our faith. We believe. We know who our God is and what He is capable of. We also know that only God knows the future. He has a plan and, for now, we are left in the dark. We must walk in the little bit of light that our candle of faith sheds. We cannot see beyond the next, tiny step. Yes, God can perform miralces and sometimes He does . . . and sometimes - He doesn't. We are left to question why. Maybe, just maybe,the reason will be revealed to us in the future; like when my Aunt Dona died. I selfishly begged and bargained with God not to take her. Still, the merciful Father took her to heaven. I was so mad at Him at the time. Two months later, when her son died as well, I came to understand that God was being compassionate. He knew my aunt would have been heartbroken at the loss of her son. Again, I begged . . .for His forgiveness. God has reasons for everything He does. We just have to trust Him to do what is best for everyone involved. Even when we don't understand why.

Merciful Father, Compassionate Lord, I believe. Forgive my unbelief. Please, for all those I know who are hurting right now, for all those in desperate need of Your healing touch, let us feel the warmth and comfort of Your embrace. Ease the suffering. And, if You don't mind too much, please allow the darkness to be brightened a little more by Your light of love. Amen.

Grounded

Grounded

I am a bird whose
wings have been clipped;
bright feathers of flight ripped;
by stolen dreams.

Crippled by apathy.
Denied what comes naturally;
to slip the grasp of gravity.
Forced - not to fly.

Wings whoosh in protest;
clattering against the cage,
sounding indignant rage,
against this wrong.

God created me
upon air currents to glide;
among the clouds to ride;
not to be grounded.

I screech in defiance,
"Why can't you see? This is me!
What I am suppose to be.
Allow me to soar!"
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We get great news! Something wonderful has happened. We are flying high! And then, we meet Mr. Gloom & Doom. . . . and they bring us crashing to the ground of cynicism.

Why is it that some people insist on stealing our joy and diminishing dreams? There are some that carry a raincoat even on a bright, sunny day. No matter how beautiful the moment might be, they seem to constantly be clothed in a cloak of negativity. They remind me of Eeyore or the Flintstone's character, Bad Luck Schleprock, who always had a dark cloud hanging over his head.

You get a new job or promotion - They complain about the company or one of your coworkers.
You get a new car - They say you should have bought "this model" because the gas mileage stinks on what you got.
You are getting married - You don't really want to tie yourself down, do you?
You bought a new house - Just wait to you start having to make repairs.
You are going on a trip - Oh, that place is a tourist trap that costs way too much money.
I am sure you can think of some of your own examples . . .

Why do people do this? Are they jealous of our happiness or do they honestly see the world through such ominous eyes? If so, what a sad life they must live; a life totally opposite of what the Lord wants for us. The apostle Paul taught us, saying: "Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." Does that sound like we are suppose to dwell on the negative? I don't think so! Hold on tightly to a positive attitude. Don't let them steal your joy. Instead, make it your mission to let your light shine so brightly, that their darkness has no choice but to shrink into the nearest corner. Soar to the greatest heights and let no one hold you down!

Dear Lord of Light, please make me a contagious Christian whose joyful spirit and a infectious, positive attitude spreads to everyone I am near - at work and at home. I know I have my periods of pessimism too, times when the negativity of others rub off on me. When this occurs, put Your hand over my mouth and help me to remain quiet (something I am not always strong enough to do alone) instead of allowing me to crush someone else's happiness. Never allow me to dash someone's dreams with my own moments of skepticism. Help me to rejoice with others who are soaring with delight in Your blessings. ~ Amen

All is Well

Oh little one of little faith
don't you know the Father is near?
What must He do to prove to you
that you have nothing to fear?

Though the rain pounds upon the earth,
are the birds not sheltered from the storm?
Snugly they rest upon their nest,
secure, unscathed and warm.

As hatchlings protected beneath
their mother's feathered wing;
so are we guarded by His grace
as to His promises we cling.

Though winter winds bluster and blow,
snow blanketing the barren ground,
Spring's seeds of life lie underneath;
dormant, yet waiting safe and sound.

Each season of hardship is followed
by a joyous time of rebirth.
So are the days of our lives filled
since the day we are placed on this earth.

We are given times of trials
before His blessings He bestows;
so learning on whom we must lean,
our wisdom continually grows.

Oh little one of fledgling faith,
now you know the Father is near.
What else must He do to prove
that He holds your life most dear?

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I look at the world around us and wonder why some can doubt that God exists and cares about them, but they do. Some think our God created us and then sits back and just watches - but does not participate in our lives. How wrong they are! I realise they focus more on the evil happening in the world; which blinds them to the blessings that surround them. It also does not help that even Christians have a habit a complaining, criticizing and condemning others, instead of lifting up those who need a positive example most. Though I have never doubted there is an awesome God in total control, I have been guilty of staring at my own petty problems to the point that I miss the needs of others. Sometimes, I am even blind to the gifts the Father surrounds me with. The thing is, being a Christian doesn't mean I'm perfect - far from it. What it does mean is that I am very aware of how far from the example of Christ I am and how far I still have to go. Thank God that He is merciful and extends grace to each of us. Still, we are to strive to be Christ's hands, His voice and His outreaching heart to a hurting world. How are you doing? Me? No where near as good as I should be.

Gracious Father, forgive me for being "too busy" or too preoccupied with my own problems to see the needs of others. Help me to control my complaining tongue and be more positive to those around me. Open my eyes and help me to see where You can use me most, not just today, but every day. Let Your light of love shine through me until the darkness of doubt and fear no longer exists in those I love. ~ Amen

Time Passes

Time Passes

Time pours like water
in our hands.
There is no holding it.
There is no slowing it.
Another day, another week,
another year surges by. . .

Time runs like sand
through a sieve;
each grain a moment;
each moment a memory.
Another birth, another death,
another life races on. . .

Time melts like wax
before a flame;
to be molded by the Master;
to be cast by Christ.
Another jewel, another treasure,
another gift from God.


I am not sure I am through with this one; but, it is what was on my mind at 5:30 this morning (maybe because today is my birthday and time passing was on my mind). Needless to say, I picked up my notebook and pen and started writing. I have played with it off and on all day. The title and the last two lines may end up being revised at a later date (suggestions anyone?).

Time is a gift that we all tend to take for granted. Everyone expects tomorrow to come. The reality is; that isn't always the case. So much time is wasted looking behind, dwelling on the negative, the mistakes of the past. Let it go! Today, make the choice to make better choices!

Creator of time and humanity, teach me to use my time wisely. Help me to grow my friendships and deepen my faith in the time You have allotted me. Allow me to make better mistakes than I made the day before (because we both know I am going to make them) and allow me to learn from them. ~ Amen

Day of Doubts

Day of Doubts

I request guidance. . . and receive only silence.
I ask for answers . . . yet questions remain.
I pray for peace . . . still chaos reigns.
I want for wisdom . . . repeated mistakes plague me.
I hunger to hear Your voice . . .for the faintest whisper.

Worry is the opposite of faith.
I plead, "Hurry, Lord."
You say, "Wait."


We all have them; unanswered prayers, days of heartache, moments of darkness when it just doesn't seem like the Lord is listening to us. Yet, we know in our hearts He never leaves us. So, what's up? Cecil Murphey has an entire book dedicated to the subject of when God seems absent, called Seeking God's Hidden Face. I have only gotten a few chapters in, but it is nice to know that even the stongest of Christians have these times as well - and come out with an even stronger faith on the other side of it.

There are times, I don't know what to pray or do, Lord. Yet, I know, You hear my heart's cries. So, I wait . . . .

Symphony

Listen!
Do you hear it?
A symphony!
Hear the flowing,
effortless,
tones of the flute?
The haunting violins'
strings on the wind?
Be still and listen!
Harp notes drip
off the Musician's fingertips.
Indeed! Drums are gently rolling
like distant thunder.
Rest with me on the porch swing
and let's listen.
As music streams from the rising melodies,
Harmony's heard within
one of nature's orchestras;
performed by the earth's
most electrifying Conductor.
Listen . . . to the rhythms in the rain.

Through It All

Through It All

How could He do it? I do not know;
Not letting a trace of hurt or anger show.
Before Pontius Pilate, He was made to stand;
tried and convicted, yet an innocent man.
Nevertheless . . . He still loved them.

Oh, the emotions that must have torn at His heart;
the tears, the fears, going through the betrayal part.
Did God lift those burdens at the garden that night
or did the turmoil within, Jesus continue to fight?
Nevertheless . . . He still loved them.

The crowds' displeasure must have deafened His ears;
the taunts and the scorns, the hateful sneers.
Through all the mockery and the awful shame,
the spitting, the beating and the calling of names . . .
Nevertheless . . . He still loved them.

The sound of whips cracking seared the air,
brutally biting, as His skin they did tear.
Forced to carry His cross up Calvary's hill;
could all this possibly be His Father's will?
Nevertheless . . . He still loved them.

Oh, the torture and torment as flesh and metal did meet;
spikes driven deeply through His hands and feet.
Not even in that dark hour did He curse or condemn,
instead requesting, "Father, forgive them."
. . . through it all, He still loved them.

Why did He do it? I do not know . . .
He died for us upon sins' death row.
Bearing our transgressions, He took our place.
Suffered even hell with strength and grace.
And still . . . He loves us . . .
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This is one of my favorites. Originally title "He Stood Silent", it was pointed out to me that Jesus did not remain silent the entire time that he stood before Pilate (something I already knew, but for some reason . . .) And so, revisions were made to correct my oversight. I think I like this version better anyway.

My Savior, there are no words to adequately express my gratitude, or my awe, at how much You love me. I am unworthy. My heart continually sings praises and my spirit soars - because of You. ~ Amen

Willing Spirit

Soulful mirror of my spirit
tell me not what you see.
Reflect not this awkward image.
Project instead what I strive to be.

Serene as the sunset submitting
to shadowy twilight's sway;
mild as the morning mists falling
upon a softly lit September day.

Patient as plants first emerging,
determined to warm in white sun.
Persistent as their roots striving
to see the ultimate goal's won.

Working and sowing God's garden;
may fruit be born of each seed.
Let me follow ever faithful
wherever the Lord might lead.

No longer blindly stumbling.
Aware as the hawk in winged flight.
Seeing the struggles of others;
trying to make each wrong a right.

By a life filled with selfless deeds
let the light of my faith illume
the path of the One who shaped the sun;
who adorned the night with the moon.
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When I began a writing class through the Christian Writers' Guild in 2004, one of our first assignments was: In poetry or prose, describe your heart's desire for your inner spiritual life. The above poem was written in response to that.
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Lord of Light, the spirit is still willing; but, writer's block is like a total eclipse of the sun. Illuminate the darkness, please. ~ Amen

Writer's Request

"I want, dear God,
to follow Your lead,
to write Your words,
to plant love's seed."

"So, using this gift
You did impart,
teach me how
to touch a heart."

"Help me to pen
salvation's plan,
of how You've loved
since time began."

"Whisper the words
and I will take note.
In poet's terms,
Your thoughts I'll quote."

"Then on that day
when humbly I stand,
head bowed low,
heart in hand,"

"Let it not be said
my deeds were few
or that this poor soul
You never knew."

"Proclaim not that
my faith was weak,
but that Your will
I did diligently seek."

"Then I will look
upon Your face,
with tear-filled eyes,
and know Your grace."

I penned this poem in the year 2000. I had been praying - pleading - with the Lord to show me what talent I might have to use for His service. Why it never occurred to me that writing might acutally be that talent, I don't know. I have always loved how words, when placed together in just the right way, seem to sing. I love poetry, especially the old poets: Frost, Longfellow, Whitman, Tennyson . . . the list could go on and on. But, my own feeble attempts at writing always fell short in my eyes. When God finally put the thought in my mind that writing was my talent, I was unsure. So, still doubting, I submitted and said, "Lord, if this is the talent You want me to use for You, show me how . . ." The year that followed, God provided one need after another, in unbelievable ways, to send this single mom to her first writers' conference in Glorieta, New Mexico. October 2001, right after the terrorist attack, I climbed on a plane fulling trusting God to protect me. The devil didn't want me there. Many tried to talk me out of the trip and I was sick as a dog the entire time (didn't know I was allergic to Mountain Cedar). But, the conference was wonderful! I learned a lot and made many contacts in the writing world. Still, one rejection letter after another and the busy world of having two jobs to make ends meet took their toll. I stopped submitting my work for others to tear apart. My writing slowed, then stopped completely. But, the longer I have gone without writing, the deeper and darker the emptiness inside of me seems to grow. That said, this blog (suggested by my cousin Carol Ann - thanks so much for the encouragement), is my attempt to get back on track; to find the missing part of me by picking up the pen again and sing through my poems and prose praises to my Lord and Savior.

Forgiving Father, reawaken the poet within me. I rededicate my passion for the written word to Your service. I am not complete without doing what You designed me for. ~ Amen